There’s a myth within the mainstream heterosexual world, that somehow lesbians are tougher than other women, that as women free from men lesbians won’t be victims of sexual violence. This is, of course, a lie. A new website, Lesbian Me Too has been launched to redress this cultural blind-spot. It provides a platform for lesbians who have hitherto been pushed to the margins of the #MeToo movement, as Jo Bartosch reports.
Lesbian Me Too is the work of the group Get the L Out, a collective of lesbian feminist campaigners. Angela Wild, one of the group’s spokeswomen, tells me:
“The #LesbianMeToo project is a continuation of our previous work condemning the sexual violence done to lesbians in LGBT circles and the cotton ceiling. But it goes further than that to include all instances of sexual violence against lesbians from harassment to corrective rape.”
Whilst the likes of Stonewall and the LGBT Foundation continue to insist that there is no conflict between the LGB and the T, 2019 research by Get the L Out highlighted extreme sexual pressure on young women from men who identify as ‘transbians.’ In a report called ‘Lesbians at Ground Zero’, Get the L Out documented abuse of lesbians by male ‘transbians’ ranging from harassment to rape.
Wild explains:
“The big taboo around sexual violence, the legitimate fear of survivors to come forward and speak about their experiences and the general unwillingness to frame a male who calls himself a lesbian as being de facto predatory, have all been barriers to progress. There is still much to be done.”
“Mainstream LGBT organisations mostly ignored our ‘Lesbians at Ground Zero research’ and still pretend the cotton ceiling doesn’t happen. The victims of sexual violence by men who identify as trans who dared to speak-up, have also been labelled “transphobic.” It is as if being exclusively same-sex attracted somehow justified the violence done to lesbians.”
This sentiment is clearly in evidence online, where trans activists routinely threaten and harass lesbians for simply stating that they are same-sex attracted. Much of the abuse is grotesquely misogynist, an indication of the searing male rage at rejection. Abhorrent though it may be there is a logic to this reaction; the very existence of lesbians is an existential threat to the reality of males who seek to be seen as women.
Harassment of lesbians does not just come from straight men, an emerging theme on the site is the entitlement some gay men seem to have toward women’s bodies.
Far from being a proud declaration of women’s attraction to women, it seems today ‘lesbian’ has been reduced to a pornographic search term. Indeed, over the past five years for each Google search for ‘lesbian pride’ there have been 213 for ‘lesbian porn.’ To too many men, the simple existence of women who love and live without men is an affront, and this marks lesbians out as targets for abuse. This is a clear thread throughout testimonies on the site, summed up by one contributor to Lesbian Me Too who reflects “my sexuality was treated as something to conquer.”
Harassment of lesbians does not just come from straight men, an emerging theme on the site is the entitlement some gay men seem to have toward women’s bodies. Recalling her experience in a gay club one anonymous contributor says:
“I was dancing with female friends when a gay guy tried to touch my breasts. Later on this same evening, another gay man smacked my bottom while I was walking in the corridor.
Both of them laughed at my angry reaction and said they were “gay anyway”.”
Whilst the stories on the site are diverse, patterns emerge. The theme with the most contributions is tagged ‘compulsory heterosexuality.’ The examples range from corrective rape to workplace harassment. One women shares a memory of being chased by a group of men after kissing her date whilst waiting for a taxi.
Misogyny within gay male culture is seldom acknowledged by the LGBT organisations which claim to represent the lesbian, gay and bisexual communities. But the impact of both socialising in all-male environments and living in a world in which women are routinely dehumanised can be sexism squared. As observed by lesbian scholar Sheila Jeffreys in Unpacking Queer Politics; “To the extent that gay men as a group seek to protect their practice of masculinity politically, they can be seen as acting in direct contradiction to the interests of women.”
Whilst the stories on the site are diverse, patterns emerge. The theme with the most contributions is tagged ‘compulsory heterosexuality.’ The examples range from corrective rape to workplace harassment. One women shares a memory of being chased by a group of men after kissing her date whilst waiting for a taxi:
“My date told them to ‘piss off’, they got angry and started chasing us. They chased us around for about 20mins and kept catching up with us. Eventually they cornered us. The main guy started undoing his trousers and said I’ll show you what you’re missing. Then a group of gay man came round the corner and chased them away. I have blocked the importance of this night. If it had gone the other way. Who would I be now?”
Reading the stories shared on Lesbian Me Too isn’t easy, but there is a grain of comfort in the fact that despite trauma and injustice, these women have found their voices and the strength to speak out.
Straight women will never have to consider whether it is safe to kiss their partner in public, as like their primate forebears, predatory men are often put off by the presence of a male. To men who view women as objects to be owned, sexual advances are encroaching on another male’s property. Conversely, simply existing as a same-sex couple makes women a target to those who fetishize lesbians.
Reading the stories shared on Lesbian Me Too isn’t easy, but there is a grain of comfort in the fact that despite trauma and injustice, these women have found their voices and the strength to speak out. Lesbian Me Too is both a space to vent and a resource highlighting a problem that both the heterosexual and corporate LGBT mainstream would prefer to ignore. In some senses the stories collected on Lesbian Me Too are rarely heard, but in others they are the same as those of women everywhere.
You can read the personal testimonies from lesbians and contribute at https://www.lesbianmetoo.com/
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