Wednesday, July 2, 2025
  • Sign In
  • Sign Up
Donate
Lesbian and Gay News
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Reports
  • Opinion
  • Interviews
  • Politics
  • Lesbian Lives
  • Gay Lives
  • Conversation
  • Home
  • Reports
  • Opinion
  • Interviews
  • Politics
  • Lesbian Lives
  • Gay Lives
  • Conversation
No Result
View All Result
Lesbian and Gay News
No Result
View All Result

MrMenno: For the love of a naked man

Home Gay Lives
byLesbian and Gay News
April 21, 2021
in Gay Lives, Opinion
4 min read
MrMenno: For the love of a naked man
TweetShare

For over two decades a pumped-up beefcake has been my constant companion and helped me make a house a home. I’ve never seen his face and he never lends a hand when I move, but I love him just the same as he faithfully adorns the fridge wherever I choose to nest. Other magnets surround him, bringing back happy memories of places I’ve been, but he reminds me of a much more fundamental aspect of my journey through life: that fact that men alone can float my boat. Standing there in his birthday suit, looking every bit as good as he did when I first laid hands on him, the only thing that covers his modesty is the text “All I want is a naked man to call my own.” Ain’t that the truth!

You may also like

Jo Bartosch: “It is the EHRC’s job to look at facts; their intervention has been like the return of adults to the room.”

Gary Powell: “Was it our own internalised homophobia that allowed the gender lobby to hijack our gay rights movement? As though that’s all we are worth?”

Jo Bartosch on how gender critical campaigners are being labelled domestic terrorists and threats to national security by ‘radicalisation’ academics at King’s College London

Professional Judy signs up to Gettr: “As Twitter disappears up its own reality-denying ideological rectum it has become more and more authoritarian.”

Like so many other gay men and lesbian women I wasn’t always at ease with being same-sex attracted, or what my mum calls “being a man-man” (she hates the word ‘homo’ that is typically used in Dutch). Coming to terms with being homosexual was a slow and arduous path for me, which surprises people: “But you’re Dutch!  The Dutch are so open-minded!” I tend not to disclose how at various points I’ve found myself teetering on cliff edges, longing for release, the shame and fear nearly pushing me over.

I can still recall that piercing feeling running through me when I realised I was having my first ever-sexual thought about a guy. I was about 16, innocently daydreaming about a guy from school. I always got so clumsy and shy around him, simultaneously intimidated and attracted in a way I didn’t understand. In my fantasies there was no such awkwardness; I could float invisibly near the ceiling in his bedroom, picturing him fresh out the shower with a towel round his waist, observing his every move. As my daydream unfolded, so did his towel. And then something happened I had never experienced before nor could have anticipated at the time – I felt an unfamiliar and unabashed urge to swoop down on his dick. It came out of nowhere and it was just as instant as the rebuke that followed it. “NO!”, I said to myself, “You did NOT just think that, OK?! That is DISGUSTING!” The next day at school I could not bear to look at him.

…on a recent feminist webinar I’d been invited to (as long as I promised not to actively participate), someone left the following comment in the chat: “That’s the difference you see – lesbians build communities, gay men are on their knees at the glory hole.”

Shortly after I wrote a poem called ‘Paradox’. It goes: “When I think of you, I dream away and we have meetings that will never be / In places that do not exist, where I touch you, where I kiss you. And I slowly search your body / Until I awake with a shock. Because I see that you’re the same.”  I had it published anonymously in the school paper, hoping he would read it and somehow magically understand what I was trying to tell him in a way lovelorn teenagers who spend too much time alone in their room are wont to do. Alas, he was too busy flicking through porn at the back of the classroom. Like Janis Ian, I too learned the truth at 17.

That was 1994. I have since found the joy of both the carnal pleasures (bye Janis, hello George Michael) and the transcendent intimacy of being with a man, and the freedom to celebrate same-sex desire in ways only men can understand. Last year I had a chat with Posie Parker in a pub about some research I had done into men giving men non-reciprocal blowjobs. I mentioned how these encounters can be very rich from an experiential point of view, even though an outsider might look at them as superficial, empty and disconnected. “I just don’t get it”, she said.  Similarly, on a recent feminist webinar I’d been invited to (as long as I promised not to actively participate), someone left the following comment in the chat: “That’s the difference you see – lesbians build communities, gay men are on their knees at the glory hole.” I realised the point she was making, but also sniggered as not-so misty watercolour memories instantly lit the corners of my mind.

But my fridge magnet reminds me that the desire for ‘a naked man’ is not only about the purely physical side of sex – as primal and exhilarating as it can be – it’s also about finding and offering a home that can only be made of a man’s arms.

Perhaps as men we are led more by our sexual instincts than women, a testosterone-driven need to spread our seed both literally and metaphorically, the thrill of the hunt, and the ease men afford one another to get their rocks off (a number of female friends have expressed their envy to me of the freedom with which gay men can act out their sexuality). But my fridge magnet reminds me that the desire for ‘a naked man’ is not only about the purely physical side of sex – as primal and exhilarating as it can be – it’s also about finding and offering a home that can only be made of a man’s arms.

I think about a recent moment where I’m collapsed on a lover’s back, the nape of his neck the perfect resting place for my head, my arms stretched out on top of his, our fingers interlaced and clasping at each other tightly. I’m still deep inside him, both of us breathing heavily and not wanting to let go, my dick still doing that slow post-orgasmic throb as he squeezes his sphincter to make sure he gets every last drop. A moment free of shame, far from the cliff edges, full of unadulterated Spice Girls ‘2-become-1’-ness. Coincidentally, his physique is quite similar to the pumped-up beefcake on my fridge, but this time I know his face, his voice, his laughter, and what he likes. Whether our moment becomes a mere mental fridge magnet or whether he becomes more of a constant companion remains to be seen, but as we were lying there at least for a little while I felt like I was blissfully at home with a naked man to call my own.

You can visit MrMenno’s YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3876CGo9uVUvoZuUZsMgg

MrMenno is on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/BadGaySuperGay

Tags: Mr Menno
Previous Post

Lesbian Labour: Lesbians within the labour movement are fighting back against attacks

Next Post

Julie Bindel: “Teenagers coming out as gay do not deserve to be told that selling sex is the same as celebrating their sexuality.”

Comments

No comments yet, be the first to leave a comment.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must sign in to join the conversation.

I agree to the Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.

Sign in to comment.

Would you like to sign in or register?

TopStories

“This is a form of conversion therapy for young people who are gay or lesbian.” Watch Dr David Bell on Channel 4 News
Gender Dysphoria

“This is a form of conversion therapy for young people who are gay or lesbian.” Watch Dr David Bell on Channel 4 News

by Lesbian and Gay News
February 26, 2021
1.3k
Tavistock Centre’s gay conversion therapy whistle-blower vindicated in her employment tribunal, writes LGN legal commentator Dennis Kavanagh
Reports

Tavistock Centre’s gay conversion therapy whistle-blower vindicated in her employment tribunal, writes LGN legal commentator Dennis Kavanagh

by Lesbian and Gay News
September 10, 2021
3.3k
Critiquing transgender theology: A review of Janice Raymond’s ‘Doublethink’ by Robert Jensen, Emeritus Professor of Journalism at the University of Texas
Books

Critiquing transgender theology: A review of Janice Raymond’s ‘Doublethink’ by Robert Jensen, Emeritus Professor of Journalism at the University of Texas

by Lesbian and Gay News
January 23, 2022
2.1k
Fact-checking Forstater – Dealing with the eight Maya Myths, by LGN legal commentator Dennis Kavanagh
Reports

Fact-checking Forstater – Dealing with the eight Maya Myths, by LGN legal commentator Dennis Kavanagh

by Lesbian and Gay News
May 3, 2021
3.9k
“Viruses do not recognise pronouns”: Use of gender identity by sexual health clinics causes confusion and concerns over data
Reports

“Viruses do not recognise pronouns”: Use of gender identity by sexual health clinics causes confusion and concerns over data

by Lesbian and Gay News
October 1, 2021
2.1k

RecommendedPosts

Jo Bartosch on Radio 1’s Drag Day: “One wonders if the BBC thinks the diversity box is ticked by the rolling coverage of drag.”

Jo Bartosch on Radio 1’s Drag Day: “One wonders if the BBC thinks the diversity box is ticked by the rolling coverage of drag.”

by Lesbian and Gay News
August 28, 2021
1.6k

Gary Powell: “Let’s make 2022 a special year of #NoThankYou to the LGBT+ lobby for betraying lesbian and gay people.”   

Gary Powell: “Let’s make 2022 a special year of #NoThankYou to the LGBT+ lobby for betraying lesbian and gay people.”  

by Lesbian and Gay News
January 5, 2022
1.5k

Report from Iceland: LGB activists battle against “The National Queer Organisation of Iceland”

Report from Iceland: LGB activists battle against “The National Queer Organisation of Iceland”

by Lesbian and Gay News
March 23, 2021
8k

Professional Judy: Drag queens and our gay history

Professional Judy: Drag queens and our gay history

by Lesbian and Gay News
February 26, 2021
954

Professional Judy: “Are we really going to legislate for something that has the potential to cause harm to generations of LGB people resulting in actual gay conversion therapy?”

Professional Judy: “Are we really going to legislate for something that has the potential to cause harm to generations of LGB people resulting in actual gay conversion therapy?”

by Lesbian and Gay News
December 10, 2021
844

Arty Morty: Graham Linehan’s gender blasphemy exposes the fear that stifles the trans debate

Arty Morty: Graham Linehan’s gender blasphemy exposes the fear that stifles the trans debate

by Lesbian and Gay News
April 11, 2021
15.9k

MostRecent

Announcement from the LGN Management Team: Lesbian and Gay News is closing

Announcement from the LGN Management Team: Lesbian and Gay News is closing

March 27, 2022
7k

Lesbians United on taking back the narrative

March 23, 2022
513

“The current model is not sustainable and another model is needed”: Interim Report of Cass Review welcomed by families with transgender-identified children, reports Gary Powell

March 23, 2022
822

Categories

  • Activism
  • Books
  • Conversion Therapy
  • Film
  • Gay Lives
  • Gender Dysphoria
  • Interviews
  • Lesbian and Gay News
  • Lesbian Lives
  • News
  • Opinion
  • Politics
  • Reports
  • Sponsored Editorial
  • Theatre
  • Transgender
  • Videos

Related Posts

Claire Heuchan: Using difference creatively

Claire Heuchan: How do we find more lesbian spaces?

February 23, 2022
1.2k
Shereen Benjamin on Stonewall: “It is alarming that City of Edinburgh councillors would affiliate their council to this increasingly discredited organisation.”

Shereen Benjamin on Stonewall: “It is alarming that City of Edinburgh councillors would affiliate their council to this increasingly discredited organisation.”

February 20, 2022
1.5k
Jo Bartosch: “One might have hoped that Lord Herbert might have questioned the huge rise in rates of referral to gender identity clinics, that he might have met with LGB Alliance.”

Gary Powell: Why Conservative backbench MPs should demand that Boris Johnson cancel the “Safe To Be Me” international LGBT conference

March 1, 2022
1.4k
EHRC skewers the UK Government’s Conversion Therapy proposals, by Bev Jackson from LGB Alliance

EHRC skewers the UK Government’s Conversion Therapy proposals, by Bev Jackson from LGB Alliance

February 7, 2022
2.2k
Jo Bartosch: “It is the EHRC’s job to look at facts; their intervention has been like the return of adults to the room.”

Jo Bartosch: “It is the EHRC’s job to look at facts; their intervention has been like the return of adults to the room.”

February 1, 2022
1.6k
Gary Powell: “The Conservatives’ LGBT ‘conversion therapy’ ban could become their new Section 28.”

Gary Powell: “Was it our own internalised homophobia that allowed the gender lobby to hijack our gay rights movement? As though that’s all we are worth?”

January 26, 2022
2.9k

Next Post
Julie Bindel: How I miss the lesbian bar

Julie Bindel: "Teenagers coming out as gay do not deserve to be told that selling sex is the same as celebrating their sexuality."

Categories

  • Activism
  • Books
  • Conversion Therapy
  • Film
  • Gay Lives
  • Gender Dysphoria
  • Interviews
  • Lesbian and Gay News
  • Lesbian Lives
  • News
  • Opinion
  • Politics
  • Reports
  • Sponsored Editorial
  • Theatre
  • Transgender
  • Videos

About Us

Lesbian and Gay News is an alternative source of news and opinion. Lesbian and Gay News picks up from an historic tradition of British lesbian and gay publications such as Gay News, which ran from 1972-1983, and The Pink Paper, which ran for 25 years from 1987.

  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Advertise with Us
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy

© 2021 staging.lesbianandgaynews.com - BM Payments Services Limited

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Reports
  • Opinion
  • Interviews
  • Politics
  • Lesbian Lives
  • Gay Lives
  • Conversation
  • Videos
  • Sign In
  • Sign Up

© 2021 staging.lesbianandgaynews.com - BM Payments Services Limited

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In

Add New Playlist

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy and Cookie Policy.