Professional Judy: “These are the same types of gay men who used to stand at the bar and refer to lesbians as ‘fish’ or their own female friends as ‘fag hags’ – they hate women.”

I am sick to death of the performative woke gay men who seem to think they’re the only voice of the community.

In fact, I’ve kind of always been sick of them.

You know the type, the ones who post pictures of strangers on social media going about their business with some nasty comment because that person has a bag for a charity they claim is hateful but can’t actually articulate why.

It’s the same kind of gay man who reports lesbians to the police because they don’t believe that a lesbian can ever have a penis and that it’s not hateful for a lesbian to reject someone with a penis precisely on that basis. You see they’re the type of gay man who chant the mantras but would never follow through on them when it comes to having sex with a transman, not that they’ll admit that publicly mind you.

They know damn well who is, or isn’t, male when it comes to having sex but they have to keep up the performance, and so they lie. 

During their lies they contort themselves into all manner of bizarre and contradictory positions as you point out penis in vagina sex is not gay sex. When you clearly explain that the logical conclusion of what they are saying is that they’re bisexual, they go on the attack, always ready to play the victim as they attempt to turn the humiliation of their own effluence being thrown back on them into an opportunity to bully.

They’re either not the sharpest tools in the box or they’re very sharp and just couldn’t care. They’ve assessed the latest mass homophobia is where they’ll be able to extract the most social capital.

These gay men repeat the oft-repeated fiction that our rights in the UK were won because a transwoman of colour threw a brick at a riot in a city in another country on another continent two years after gay sex was decriminalised here. Because for some reason this means we should be happy to put up with the homophobia of the homophobic ideology they’ve signed up to. Performative gay men either know nothing about our gay civil rights history, or they do and they’re just liars.

After that BBC article was published confirming the issues facing some lesbians around sexual coercion and some reporting actual rapes at the hands of trans identified males, the performative gay men start petitions to get the article pulled down. It’s transphobia they cry, what about the lived experience of transwomen?

To these gay men the ‘lived experience’ of some males is worth more on the oppression league table then the ‘lived experience’ of raped lesbians. The same lesbians who were wiping the arses of gay men like them as they died alone, abandoned by their families, to HIV and AIDS. These gay men have a very shallow sense of morality.

These gay men do know about the pressure to sleep with the opposite sex because they’re starting to see this directed at them but like screaming children they refuse to publicly acknowledge the thousands of examples that are there at the tap of a link. They’re the ones who pretend to not see heterosexual women on their favourite gay dating apps, or that their favourite local sauna has gone unisex under the guise of inclusivity.

But they do know because they can see it before them. They can’t not know.

They’d rather spend their time attacking lesbians and other gay men for standing up for the sex-based rights they now enjoy, rights won on the hard labour of others and at great personal cost.

They were the ones who were too scared to come out at work in the 90s and 2000s and watched as other LGB people did the heavy lifting, but when they came out they sat there and derided other gay men who were still in the closet. You see these were guys that when you were at school joined in with the bullying as a way of deflecting attention from themselves being gay – they hate themselves.

These are the gay men who tend to rely on other people to tell them what to think. They can’t form their own arguments and heaven forbid that they engaged in something detailed and substantial. When you suggest they listen to a ten-hour documentary on the dangerous homophobic agenda of Stonewall and their reach into every area of public life, they don’t bother listening to it, they instead think that saying TERF is enough.

Besides, “Bake Off” is on.

These are the cowards that can’t ever quote a single thing that JK Rowling has said that is transphobic. They’ll celebrate her doxing or defending the actions of those that doxed her because her address can be found on the internet and will do so based on a lie. They won’t ever post their own addresses online though, that would require a consistent moral position. 

But I remember who they are.

These are the same types of gay men who used to stand at the bar and refer to lesbians as “fish” or their own female friends as “fag hags” – they hate women.

For some reason they thought that it was their job to tell you that your clothes weren’t fashionable enough, or your taste in music isn’t gay enough, or was too gay. They were the ones that told you that you were too camp, or too butch. These were the gay men who told you that gay men didn’t drink Guinness or didn’t drink lager or didn’t drink wine – they hate gay men who don’t conform.

They were the gay guys who used to run round the bar telling everyone how much a slag you were because they couldn’t handle the fact that you just weren’t into them (and all you did was refuse to go to the toilet cubicle to suck them off). They hate to be rejected.

They were the ones who were too scared to come out at work in the 90s and 2000s and watched as other LGB people did the heavy lifting, but when they came out they sat there and derided other gay men who were still in the closet. You see these were guys that when you were at school joined in with the bullying as a way of deflecting attention from themselves being gay – they hate themselves.

Because they’re as much the shallow two-faced bullies today as they were in the 90s.

Gay men need to be better about standing up and being counted. Your rights and the rights of younger gay men to live as they are, are under threat. This is a moment when we need to stand up for what we know is right.

Stonewall and the other LGBT organisations are not your friend. Gender identity is homophobia and conversion therapy repackaged.

The time is now where you have to decide what type of gay man you are, but be quick and choose wisely because the internet never forgets and when we come to write this dark chapter of our ongoing and seemingly never-ending struggle against homophobia, we’re going to be brutally honest about the kind of gay man that you are.