In some respects, it’s a healthy sign that there are disagreements among the broad coalition that constitutes the gender critical side of the debate. We don’t all think the same way. We don’t all just regurgitate circular mantras. We believe in free speech and free thought, and the right to disagree. We know that disagreement does not equal hate. It’s how our way of engaging is fundamentally the opposite of the gender ideology lobby.
At the same time, it’s disheartening to see the extent of some of the infighting among individuals sharing a gender critical perspective (even if they wouldn’t use the term to describe themselves). We absolutely must call out bad behaviour or inappropriate positions and put people under scrutiny to explain their assertions. However, there seems to be a minority who revel in the attack when someone slips, rather than wanting to get them back on the right track. In seeing our differences rather than our commonalities. In misrepresenting what is said so as to argue against the person instead of against what is actually being said.
We know that disagreement does not equal hate. It’s how our way of engaging is fundamentally the opposite of the gender ideology lobby.
There seems to be a jostling for ownership of the fight. Whether this is a resentment of others being able to take a different approach, or a frustration that what we’ve been saying for ages with little traction is suddenly moving at pace when presented by others, I don’t know. It’s entirely understandable that there would be distrust between different groups based on other, unrelated experience with someone else who falls into similar groups or characteristics.
#NotAll<InsertYourChosenDemographicHere>.
Gender ideology negatively affects several different groups in different but overlapping ways. Mostly it affects women, within a broader fight for equality and against misogyny. I stand with women in their fight, not least as a mother’s son, a brother to sisters, and an uncle to nieces. Not speaking for women or over them but using my voice and actions to add to and support what women are saying and doing.
Gender ideology also affects children – those being led along the gender clinic path and those being severely mis-educated about the basics of biology. Children who often have no voice of their own, spoken for by parents, doctors, and the twisted lobby groups who use them to validate the ideology. I stand with and for those children, not least as an uncle to nieces and nephews, but as a gay man who could very easily have faced a trip down the gender clinic path had I been a child today.
Which brings us to lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals. Gender ideology tells people who are attracted to others of the same sex, that sex isn’t what matters – it’s only about gender identity. It tells them that being a gay man is a “consolation prize” because you weren’t up to transitioning into a woman, or that butch lesbians “lack the conviction” to go through with transitioning to be a man.
There are many people in this fight, for many reasons and taking many different approaches.
I stand as a gay man against this new homophobia. More than that, I stand as a gay man against the so called “LGBTQ+ community” that is pushing this agenda and is riding on the hard work and reputation of the lesbians, gay men and bisexuals who fought for equality on the basis of their sexual orientation. The rainbow mafia doesn’t represent me. I feel a responsibility to help dismantle the standing they claim so that we can reduce the grip they have on policy makers, and thereby reduce ideologically corrupted policy that negatively impacts other groups.
So, my fight is driven by how this issue affects gay people, and kids who would likely grow up to be gay, and in addressing the “LGBTQ+ community” that claims to speak in my name to validate gender ideology.
My fight isn’t necessarily going to be your fight. But they overlap. We have the same enemy. And we HAVE to win. There are many people in this fight, for many reasons and taking many different approaches. We don’t have to agree with each other’s tactics, but I’m not going to begrudge you taking an action against our enemy as it relates to my focus in the fight. So long as we’re all facing the same direction against our common enemy and not criticising each other, I just want us to win.
Some of us are able to take really big and public actions. Others are able to take smaller or more subtle actions. No matter what each of us is able to do, we all need to do whatever we can. Small actions add up. Small actions can signal to others that we agree that sex matters and shouldn’t be replaced with gender identity. They help us connect with others who are on the same side in the fight, or with overlapping fights against the same enemy. They can help us find new people to join the fight.
We’re all in the same fight. Let’s grow the army. And let’s win!
James Roberts is a freelance consultant in the NfP/charity sector. He has previously project managed a regional Pride Festival, been Chair of Trustees for LGBT Consortium, advised and supported LGB Alliance on development projects, and created the gay speed dating event 28GaysLater.
James tweets at @HumanGayMale (https://twitter.com/HumanGayMale)
Photo: Osmanpek/iStock Getty Images
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