Professional Judy: “Carrie desperately wants you to know that she, the unelected heterosexual wife of the Prime Minister – he who once referred to gay men as ‘tank-topped bum boys’ – is an ally and therefore knows what’s best for us.”

And so it came to pass that she descended from heaven (SW1A 2AA) and deigned to grace us with her presence. Resplendent in blue, she saw fit to share her thoughts on the burning issues of LGBT+ rights ­– on which she feels perfectly qualified to comment. Ladies, gentlemen and non-binary trans masc demisexual pansexual gender queers, Carrie Johnson has entered the building.

Carrie desperately wants you to know that she, the unelected heterosexual wife of the Prime Minister – he who once referred to gay men as “tank-topped bum boys” – is an ally and therefore knows what’s best for us. With a line that could have come straight off a Stonewall press release, she mused, “Whether you are LGBT+ or an ally like me, we are all committed to equality and acceptance for everyone, whoever you are and whomever you love.”

Who could argue? Of course, everyone is committed to that. Unless, of course, you’re Nancy Kelley, the CEO of embattled gender identity pressure group Stonewall, who were – purely coincidentally – the co-hosts of this special LGBT+ Conservatives reception at this year’s Conservative Party Conference.

Nancy, like many quasi-religious leaders, doesn’t quite practise what she preaches. She doesn’t “accept without exception” LGB people who don’t believe that sexual orientations are based on gender identity. Those people, she claimed in a recent car crash interview on the BBC, are no better than anti-Semites.

Meanwhile, proving she has absolutely no understanding of the issues, Carrie conflated gay rights with the version of trans rights based on gender identity and spoke about sexual orientation and gender identity interchangeably.

Let’s get something really clear here: as well as being deeply homophobic because it erases the concept of sex and therefore erases the concept of homosexuality, gender identity is a contested abstract idea that lacks any credible research evidence proving its existence. It’s also obviously bollocks.

Carrie’s speech followed the usual Stonewall trick of hiding people behind the alphabet soup but using specific examples of discrimination and oppression that only apply to same-sex attracted men and women. Remember: we are only a concern insofar as we can be used to push for goals that would benefit other groups. Remember how LGBTQIA+ organisations couldn’t even bring themselves to identify the gay men who were murdered in Reading last year as being gay men? 

Carrie correctly identifies that it is gay people who are impacted by the laws in 11 countries that see us punishable by death. She is also correct that it is gay people who are impacted by the laws in 71 countries where being gay is still illegal. She could have gone further and highlighted the situation in Iran and other countries where gay men are given a choice between violent punishment and social isolation or transition. But no.

Carrie’s speech followed the usual Stonewall trick of hiding people behind the alphabet soup but using specific examples of discrimination and oppression that only apply to same-sex attracted men and women.

It should be deeply worrying to gay men that LGBTQIA+ organisations like Stonewall are pushing this dangerous homophobic nonsense and agitating to remove sex-based exemptions and protections in law (i.e. your rights as gay men), and that Stonewall appears to be so close to the wife of the Prime Minister.

What is the blue haired Gríma Wormtongue whispering into Carrie’s ear? Where is the democratic accountability? What are they hoping to achieve with this relationship? Where can we get the details of their meetings with her about what was discussed?

We know that Stonewall is attempting to smuggle through a ban on therapists and other professionals exploring with children who present with gender dysphoria the possibility that they might just be gay, lesbian or bisexual – and they’re doing so on the back of a so-called ban on gay conversion therapy.

You might think, “So what?”. We must protect the trans kids! But we should stop to consider that the research shows that between 70-90% of children who present with gender dysphoria desist by the time they are through puberty, and most will identify as LGB people if the right (non-affirmation) support is given. It’s hard not to see that what Stonewall is pushing for is nothing but a form of conversion therapy.

Carrie engaged in some justified backslapping about it being a Conservative-led government that got same sex marriage on the books – something Stonewall had originally opposed under Tony Blair in favour of civil partnerships.

Then there were the alleged death threats sent to the chair of LGBT+ Conservatives by trans activists because a charity headed by two lesbians and a gay man were granted permission to attend the conference and the opportunity to speak to democratically elected and accountable representatives whose constituents include LGB people deeply concerned about the attack on our right to exist.

But then, such is the state of LGBT politics that, in the week where death threats were sent to the LGBT+ Conservative chair by trans activists, it was LGB Alliance supporters who were accused of making some people feel “unsafe” at the Conference. What an irony.