Concert pianist, conductor, filmmaker and writer Nina Kennedy is the author of Practicing for Love: A Memoir which describes the challenges she faced in her career as an African-American woman and as a lesbian. The book is a finalist for this year’s Lambda Literary Awards being announced in a virtual ceremony on 1st June. Here Nina describes performing a short story reading at The Clit Club in New York, a lesbian nightclub which ran from 1990 until 2002 as an intergenerational, multi-racial and mixed class ‘sex positive’ venue – and she answers some questions about her life and her memoir.
The first time I tried to enter the Clit Club, I didn’t even make it inside. A beautiful young lady picked me up right there at the entrance, and took me back to her apartment. A few weeks later when I actually made it all the way inside, I saw that the atmosphere was highly sexualised. Topless dancers shook their stuff on the stage, on top of the bar, and on various elevated platforms. When I ventured downstairs, women were dancing, grinding, making out and making love in dark corners.
Hostesses Julie Tolentino (made famous by the photo montage with her partner Alistair and Madonna in the book Sex) and Jocelyn Taylor (aka Jaguar Mary) gave birth to the infamous party in the Meatpacking District, where celebrities including Debbie Harry and Madonna were often spotted. Photographer Lola Flash was behind the bar, and often displayed slides of her photographs on the walls. There was usually a line of people waiting to get in, and the dancefloor was normally so packed that we could hardly move. THOSE WERE THE DAYS… before the onset of the AIDS epidemic, the resulting restrictions place on bars and clubs by then-mayor Giuliani.
Julie Tolentino would often invite guest artists to perform on the stage. I remember hearing poet Pamela Sneed read from her short stories, and was surprised to see how quiet the crowd became when she began to read. She held them in rapt attention. Her stories were about her travels and experiences, but unfortunately, on that night, had nothing to do with sexuality of erotica. As I had been writing my own erotic short stories – inspired by Anaïs Nin – I decided to ask Julie if she would let me read one of my short stories on stage with the visual assistance of a go-go dancer. She happily agreed, so a few weeks later I was presented on the stage of the Clit Club in a reading of an erotic short story.
When the go-go dancer began her striptease, the crowd grew silent. There was no music playing. All they heard were my words, while their eyes gazed upon the beautiful dancer interpreting my words with graceful body movements. Lori Seid – who later would win an Emmy for her television work – kept the crowd spellbound via her artful lighting design. Lori had asked me before we went on stage what the final words of the piece were, so she could cut the lights at the end. When she did, the crowd screamed at the top of their lungs. I could hear that they were totally silent during the performance. You could have heard a pin drop. The cheering and screaming at the end gave me such an adrenaline rush. Julie came onto the stage and acknowledged us, and the crowd screamed some more. I later learned that the cheering was heard well outside of the building and down the block.
At the end of the evening, when one of the members of the staff handed me an envelope containing four twenty-dollar bills, it was the most gratifying payment I had received for a performance. Before then I had performed on concert stages as piano soloist with symphony orchestras, but that payment of eighty dollars truly warmed my heart. I was sharing my talents with my community, and that was what mattered.
And now, thirty years later, both Pamela Sneed and I are finalists for 2021 Lambda Literary Awards – Pamela for her book of poetry titled Funeral Diva, and I for Practicing for Love: A Memoir. How gratifying it is that both of us are nominated, and will be honoured during Lambda Literary’s Virtual Awards Ceremony on June 1st.
Practicing for Love: A Memoir is nominated in the “Lesbian Memoir/Biography” category of the Lambda Literary Awards 2021. You can see all the finalists and reserve your seat for the virtual ceremony on Tuesday 1st June here.
Q&A with Nina Kennedy, author of Practicing for Love: A Memoir
Why did you write this book?
Well, since the day it was discovered I was a child prodigy, I’ve been pretty non-verbal. In fact, as I was zoned by law to attend a segregated public school, I had to speak black slang during the day, and was forced by my college professor parents to speak the King’s English at home. So I pretty much kept my mouth shut. When I started writing in a diary at 16, I realised I had a lot to say. Being forced to practice turned out to be a convenient excuse for not having a social life, which enabled me to stay in the closet. I couldn’t really “come out” until I left home for college.
How did you come out?
The only way I could think of was to go to women’s bars and make friends there. I even met writer Rita Mae Brown at Giovanni’s Room in Philadelphia, at a book signing there. I’d read every book I could find on the subject: The Female Orgasm, Sapphistry, and of course, Rubyfruit Jungle. I approached my sexuality the same way I approached performing: study and practice.
How did being a lesbian affect your career?
I certainly didn’t flirt with conductors or artist managers, so that limited the number of contracts I got. Most of them are gay, anyway, so flirting with them wouldn’t have made any difference. But my gay male colleagues certainly did. Many of them didn’t survive the AIDS crisis. But I knew of several male heterosexual conductors who were inappropriate with young females, and some recording executives as well. Those stories are all in the book.
What does “Practicing for Love” really mean?
My mother was a very frustrated woman, because of the sexism and the racism she had experienced. She became depressed and turned to alcohol for comfort. I learned very early that my playing the piano seemed to make her happy. And she had perfect pitch, so she would call out the right notes when I made mistakes. But she couldn’t mother me, so I went out into the world craving a woman’s love.
Is this only a professional memoir?
No. My love life is inextricably linked with my professional life. I wrote about coming out of the closet and claiming my identity as a woman who loves women. I wanted to share how my budding sexuality helped develop my understanding of the tensions, build-ups, and climaxes that classical music is famous for.
Practicing for Love: A Memoir by Nina Kennedy is published by Dorrance Publishing and available from Amazon Kindle here.
Photo credits: Alina Wilczynski and Marc Bryan-Brown.
Comments
No comments yet, be the first to leave a comment.