It can be very difficult to know where to start when bringing up the explosive subject of the gender debate with woke friends. Through no fault of their own, they have been indoctrinated to believe that transwomen are women, and that anyone who disagrees must be motivated by hate. So, a gentle, well-structured approach is vital for breaking down their defensive shell. This is my tried-and-tested method, which has a 100% success rate.
Despite accusations to the contrary, no part of this guide is intended to incite hatred towards the transgender community. It is merely aimed at helping people have more meaningful discussions about this controversial topic with friends and family.
Having this discussion in person is crucial. It’s too easy for words to be twisted online, and for the other person to shut down and end the conversation.
I always follow the same order:
Step 1: A detailed description of autogynephilia
I begin with this because it is central to the whole peaking process. They must understand that there are two types of trans-identified male. I guarantee in their minds they are picturing only the first type: very effeminate, homosexual transsexual males. Therefore, before the discussion can progress any further, you must make them understand that the majority of transwomen are heterosexual males with a paraphilia called autogynephilia, which literally means ‘love of oneself as a woman’. These are males who are aroused by the idea of themselves as women. According to Drs. Michael Bailey and Ray Blanchard, at least 75% of the males presenting to gender clinics throughout the West fall into this category.
While not absolutely necessary, I have a folder of photographs of autogynephiles on my phone which I usually show after I’ve described the fetish in detail. To be clear, these are not pornographic images, and the reason I do this is not to mock these men; I actually have deep sympathy for any man who suffers from this paraphilia because it is clearly not easy to live with. Rather, the reason is you must make your listener seriously question their absurd belief that a woman is anyone who identifies as a woman. So, I ask while looking through the photographs if they really believe that these men are women, the same as their own mother. Of course, the answer is invariably no.
Another reason for showing these photographs is because the modern trans rights movement has decided that autogynephilia doesn’t exist, despite there being decades of research and abundant evidence online to the contrary. This makes showing indisputable proof of it necessary. The reason for this denial is obvious, but I explain it anyway, and there is no better explanation than the one provided by Ray Blanchard in Helen Joyce’s book Trans – When Ideology Meets Reality:
Blanchard thinks one reason is that it complicates the task of selling transsexualism. ‘If a guy decides he’s coming into work as a woman from now on, it’s one thing for him to say: “I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’ve always been a woman inside,” and quite another to say: “I’ve moved on from just masturbating in women’s clothes to wearing them all the time.”
I then ask them if they truly believe that a man who has spent years masturbating while wearing women’s clothing is a woman, and if they really believe he should be as entitled to access women’s spaces as their grandmother. Yet again, the answer is always no.
Now you’re ready to move on to the next step.
Step 2: The concept of the male lesbian
My experience has been that, once it is explained to them, all decent people are disgusted by the concept of the male lesbian. Remember, the woke support trans rights because they think it’s the next gay rights. You must show them how wrong they are. You must show them how deeply homophobic the trans rights movement is. Again, I have a folder of male lesbians saved on my phone, and whilst looking through the evidence, I remind them that these are heterosexual men with a fetish who believe themselves to be lesbians. I make clear that this is the logical end point of the transwomen are women mantra, of which they are so fond. If transwomen really are women, it follows that those who are attracted to women are lesbians. At this point, I ask them whether they really believe a heterosexual man with fully intact male anatomy is a lesbian, and I think you can probably guess their response.
I make sure to point out that lesbians are getting banned from lesbian dating apps for specifying females only in their profiles, just as gay men are getting banned from dating apps for stating they are only interested in males. How once again, same-sex attraction is forbidden, but this time the homophobia comes disguised as inclusivity.
At this point, I ask them whether they really believe a heterosexual man with fully intact male anatomy is a lesbian, and I think you can probably guess their response.
Now is also a good time to introduce them to the term “the cotton ceiling”, which refers to the barrier heterosexual males who identify as women face when denied access to sex with lesbians. Point out that while no one is technically forcing lesbians to sleep with men, young lesbians who are members of the queer community are pressured to do so because to exclude these men from their dating pool is considered transphobic.
You must show them how incompatible the T is with the LGB – on the one hand, you’ve got a group which is made up of same-sex attracted people and on the other, a group which believes same-sex attraction is transphobic.
Step 3: The atrocity being committed in paediatric gender clinics
I begin this part by explaining the recent phenomenon of rapid-onset gender dysphoria, and how it differs from the traditional childhood-onset gender dysphoria. I explain how a condition that once afflicted predominantly boys starting in early childhood now affects mostly girls, with a sudden onset at puberty. I show them we are dealing with numbers of epidemic proportions. How the sudden increase coincides with the rise in popularity of smartphones, and I explain how all evidence points to it being a social contagion fuelled by internet use. Then I show them the spike in figures of girls aged 14 – 16 being referred to the GIDS service in 2019-2020.
I ask them what they make of that spike? Why that age? Why so many girls? If it’s really societal acceptance that is causing this increase, why aren’t we seeing an even greater spike in boys? It is after all a condition that traditionally affected boys. Why aren’t there women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s lining up to get shots of testosterone and bilateral mastectomies now that society will finally accept them for the men they always were? I then point out that the teenage girl population is the very demographic known to be susceptible to social contagions, that there have also been anorexia and cutting epidemics since smartphones arrived on the scene – graphs showing those demographics would be eerily similar.
I talk about how most of these teenagers are gay or lesbian, and instead of giving them time to accept their sexuality and find their place in the world, we are telling them that their gender-nonconformity means they are trans and that the answer is to become a lifelong medical patient.
I tell them that in gender clinics all over the west, these children are receiving nothing but affirmation. That they are being pumped full of experimental drugs which will sterilise them and permanently alter their bodies. That we are allowing children to sign away their fertility before they are even old enough to get a tattoo. That their psychiatric comorbidities are being ignored, as are the rising rates of detransition. I talk about how most of these teenagers are gay or lesbian, and instead of giving them time to accept their sexuality and find their place in the world, we are telling them that their gender-nonconformity means they are trans and that the answer is to become a lifelong medical patient. That, ironically, activists consider talk therapy for gender dysphoria to be conversion therapy, but the real conversion therapy is doctors converting the bodies of gay and lesbian teens with cross-sex hormones and surgeries.
Most of my friends are parents, so I end this part by telling them to imagine their child suddenly identifying as transgender. I tell them to imagine being forbidden to use their daughter’s name, to imagine being forced to watch as she sacrifices her fertility and her perfectly healthy body parts, knowing that it’s wrong for her but being powerless to stop it.
Most people have no idea of the harm that lies beneath the rainbow flags and the seemingly innocuous mantras; they have no idea what it is that they are supporting. You just need to open their eyes to the truth. In my experience, once a person understands these three main points, they can no longer support the gender movement, and they are far more receptive to your opinion of why self-ID is harmful and why males don’t belong in women’s prisons, shelters, or changing rooms. Once you explain the damage this rights movement is doing to women, the LGB community, and a generation of children, they will see that the gender critical view is not hateful as they had been led to believe, but rather that it is a view very much worthy of respect in a democratic society.
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